Prison Pants

The past 7 weeks, due to lack of foresight and the extreme desire for comfort, I’ve run into a clothing conundrum. I volunteer at the women’s prison and there is a strict dress code. Most of the rules around clothing are not a problem but I’ve been struggling with one.. we’re not supposed to wear pants with spandex in them. Of course this is to try to prevent people who are wearing only Leggings as Pants. Or even yoga pants. But as you can imagine, it’s hard to enforce if there’s not a fairly strict stance on it.

So, I usually go straight from work & you might be thinking, “well you are a business professional, aren’t you wearing prison appropriate attire to work?” NO. As it turns out I am wearing mostly ALL SPANDEX or highly stretchy pants. WHO KNEW?! Not me until I was forced into this type of reflection.

I didn’t know how bad it had gotten until I have realized the need to change before I go every week. I knew I maybe was wearing a lot of Lycra but I didn’t know the extent of it. I’ve gotten myself into the position where there’s now the horror of functioning in REAL, not stretchy waisted, PANTS for several hours. And NONE of said pants actually currently fit me. Even the ones that almost or mostly fit, feel so restrictive that I have to unbutton them until I drive across town. My poor waist is being cinched in so tightly, is this how life used to be?! Even my go to “volunteer pants” are not as great as they used to be.. ūüė¶

This also explains why I only wear about 4 pairs of pants to work and have shunned most of my ‘normal dress pants.’ Don’t get me wrong, I love the flair at the bottom of those pants that make me look more proportional, but my waist protests all day long. Not worth it. Back to wearing something that has some “give” to it ūüôā

I think that the solution to my prison attire problems could be JNCO jeans. They are low-waisted, should be comfortable while sitting. Look like a man, almost. Good to go. I wonder if mine are still at my parents house…

These are more like what mine looked like.. man, I actually do wish that I still had those.. not that they would fit. I think that mine were literally a 0 in juniors. 

Another solution is DRESSES. [Confession: this is what I almost wore this week so I wouldn’t be late trying on pants but didn’t want to get one dirty]. As long as I have closed toe shoes and of course I wear leggings under them anyway, good to go. As it turns out now that I think about it, dresses & skirts are the only other thing that I comfortably wear to work most days .. in addition to the stretchy pants.

— this is the best I can do, life is too hard to fight against nature …
Remember when I was fighting the good fight against jeggings & skinny jeans? Well, that battle has clearly been lost and I’m fully on to the dark side. Now I know what it feels like to wear them & we know that I’m 90/10 on the form over function in fashion. I don’t know what it would take for me to go back. I’m starting to think I can just go ahead & buy the cute maternity clothes on the clearance rack & wear them to work also since I clearly have no shame any more, right? If I’ve already given up, why not go a little further down this path ..

Thumbs up or down on that one?

FTR, I also still have my gaucho pants. I was saving them for when they came back & style & guess what, I think it’s happening? The printed fabrics seem to be a bigger thing but I’m feeling as though I can safely bring my brown gaucho pants back out from under the bed, what do we think? It’s time.

[They won’t fly for the prison but maybe they can get into the rotation of spring and summer work pants – which are nearly the same as my winter pants except I wore them with boots instead of flats this winter]

Well, my poor waist will figure out how to deal with my prison nights and it clearly is living wild & free most of the time, so it will be okay for a few hours once a week. Sorry if I’ve caused anyone else to evaluate their wardrobe as my volunteering has caused me to do ūüėČ

2015 Things

I really enjoy reading what other people I know are into versus random pop culture things. So I compiled a list of a few of my favorite things and what I wasn’t feeling in 2015, for what it’s worth. I don’t spend a ton of time thinking about “stuff” but it’s fun reflecting. I don’t think I’ve ever seen an episode of Oprah’s favorite things but I like the idea of it!

Random things that I fell in love with (or fell further in love with) in 2015:

  • I was inspired by the books For the Love” & “The Last Lecture – I already loved Jen Hatmaker, author of For the Love, and this book just further pushed me towards one of her many adoring fans. She’s everything we want to be yet feels like our bff. Savored this book and was sad when it was over.
    And I’m super late to the party reading Randy Pausch’s inspiring yet heartbreaking parting words but it was so worthwhile and was relevant 8 years after he wrote it. And I think it will challenge readers on how they’re living their lives for years.
  • The Leftovers TV show: We’ve watch a lot of HBO this year. The husband got me into this show after we marathon watched season 1. With the True Detective Season 2 disappointment, I was a little bit worried about The Leftovers Season 2 but I was thoroughly entertained by it. It’s still as weird as ever and that’s cool with me.
  • The Martian movie: Though I only saw this once in the theater, I didn’t breathe most of the time but I loved it. Such a good story and beautiful production, in my non movie snob opinion.
  • the Pacific Northwest:¬†this isn’t really a thing but it is.. on our honeymoon we finally got to adventure there and I’m in love with the clam chowder in Seattle, the friendliness of WA & OR and all of their cheese, salmon and fresh food, the OREGON COASTLINE except when we’re driving it at night, Sonoma, and having uber in San Fran because that city is exhausting to get around otherwise.
  • Environmental Working Group: I’ve gone in an out over the past decade of trying to find beauty products and the like that aren’t harmful to my body (but that I can afford). And gone around and around with the whole lot of conundrums surrounding personal hygiene, skincare, food, vitamins, etc. I fell back into a pattern of at least checking my beauty products on this great resource and trying to sort some things out. More of that in 2016.

For me it’s still the SIMPLE things that are doing it for me like: playing the guitar & piano, bonfires or grilling out with friends, my husband’s pour over coffee, Saturday morning at the farmer’s market with my husband, days on the lake, yoga, etc.

Also worth noting:¬†Last Week Tonight with John Oliver,¬†Empire, Instagram, Stash Tea, LEFT SHARK (AND RIGHT SHARK, I guess, since I’m mostly right shark haha), wake surfing, Thriftsmart (and Buy/Sell/Trade on FB & Craigslist -pretty much anywhere I can buy other people’s stuff that is not Goodwill)

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Random things that I began to dislike (or further dislike) in 2015:
(if you love these things, no judgement, well maybe a little bit of judgement for some of them but I still love ya)

  • Grocery shopping at Publix. I spent way too many trips going there for “convenience” (it’s literally 2 blocks/stop lights more conveniently located to my house) and ending up super disappointed. Very little organic food and so expensive including their generic brands. I am always happy with their <<bakery, deli, and their sushi>>, randomly; thus, I will try to only shop for those items there in 2016. It’s definitely such a nice feeling to walk through the aisles but we have a really nice Kroger by our house and it’s serving me just fine. I really like the employees there too.
  • Professional Sports¬†– the less I watch professional sports, the NFL in particular, the less I like them. This may be another blog post, I feel like we all know some of the downfalls of them. They’ve just become less appealing to me though I still enjoy following them in a more passive sense, I just can’t seem to invest myself in them as much.
  • Shellac nail polish¬†– if I need a chisel or paint thinner to remove this stuff from my nails, no thank you. And it always ruins my nails. I’m falling out of love with nail polish in general because it seems so chemical-y (I only really ever painted my toe nails anyway).
  • Home Depot¬†– We bought a house and therefore, spent way more hours at this store than I would’ve liked in 2015. Oh, it’s also like .5 miles from our house. I hardly have the energy to say all the reason that I dislike this place. Summary: there never seems to be anyone working except at 8:30 pm right before they close and then everyone wants to help me when I don’t need help. Half the stuff we wanted from there we had to order online anyway so that will be my approach next year. Or drive further for a local hardware store. The only saving grace of Home Depot is buying a house plant to make it more worthwhile : )

Honorable mention dislikes: Apple, True Detective Season 2, Papa Johns, Chewbacca, Moles (which I almost hate more than Opossums), USPS
mole

The jury is still out for the following:

  • Making my own natural beauty products¬†– I will create a whole blog post about this.. I can’t stand spending a fortune on these items (see above) but there’s got to be a better way than the cheap products with all the chemicals [outside of going to Europe to stock up every few months]. Still sorting this all out.
  • Shopping online:¬†I love walking around stores for exercise and to fill my senses (I have a weird gift of looking at things & not buying them, most of the time); however, this year I bought a lot of stuff online. I think I like buying stuff I actually need online roughly when I need it for the convenience then I can be more of a casual browser/shopper and still run errands and get “out & about” as time allows.
  • Serial:¬†I don’t have the energy to fully dive into this subject at the moment. I recently finally got on this train too and couldn’t get enough of Season 1. But then I read about how people were stalking “Jay” and I didn’t like the ending but most days I think I’m glad for the attention that it gave to the “justice system” and though it was kind of a sick form of entertainment, if white people will care more about the cause of justice, I’m down. Not a fan of Season 2 thus far. Has anyone else been listening?

  • HGTV:¬†Don’t get me wrong, I obsessively watch Fixer Upper & Flip or Flop any time I have access to cable but I don’t want my priority to be overspending for trendy things for my home. I’d rather travel & have experiences. But I love pretty things & trash being turned into treasure. And Chip & Jo.

Other things I’m still on the fence about:¬†Game of Thrones, “essential oils” (and I don’t want to talk about it hah), Meghan Trainor

oprah

That time I was too big of a hot mess to blog

Apparently, every June I decide to have an annual blog post.

There are some funny things that I’ve decided that I have to try to capture for anyone who is still following this piece of work.. or blank blog.

Coming up soon, the story of how the “Where the Wild Things Are” monster thing ended up in our yard & why I will not judge anyone’s landscaping (as harshly)¬†ever again.

#wherethewildthingsare #beinghotmessdotcom