Prison Pants

The past 7 weeks, due to lack of foresight and the extreme desire for comfort, I’ve run into a clothing conundrum. I volunteer at the women’s prison and there is a strict dress code. Most of the rules around clothing are not a problem but I’ve been struggling with one.. we’re not supposed to wear pants with spandex in them. Of course this is to try to prevent people who are wearing only Leggings as Pants. Or even yoga pants. But as you can imagine, it’s hard to enforce if there’s not a fairly strict stance on it.

So, I usually go straight from work & you might be thinking, “well you are a business professional, aren’t you wearing prison appropriate attire to work?” NO. As it turns out I am wearing mostly ALL SPANDEX or highly stretchy pants. WHO KNEW?! Not me until I was forced into this type of reflection.

I didn’t know how bad it had gotten until I have realized the need to change before I go every week. I knew I maybe was wearing a lot of Lycra but I didn’t know the extent of it. I’ve gotten myself into the position where there’s now the horror of functioning in REAL, not stretchy waisted, PANTS for several hours. And NONE of said pants actually currently fit me. Even the ones that almost or mostly fit, feel so restrictive that I have to unbutton them until I drive across town. My poor waist is being cinched in so tightly, is this how life used to be?! Even my go to “volunteer pants” are not as great as they used to be.. 😦

This also explains why I only wear about 4 pairs of pants to work and have shunned most of my ‘normal dress pants.’ Don’t get me wrong, I love the flair at the bottom of those pants that make me look more proportional, but my waist protests all day long. Not worth it. Back to wearing something that has some “give” to it 🙂

I think that the solution to my prison attire problems could be JNCO jeans. They are low-waisted, should be comfortable while sitting. Look like a man, almost. Good to go. I wonder if mine are still at my parents house…

These are more like what mine looked like.. man, I actually do wish that I still had those.. not that they would fit. I think that mine were literally a 0 in juniors. 

Another solution is DRESSES. [Confession: this is what I almost wore this week so I wouldn’t be late trying on pants but didn’t want to get one dirty]. As long as I have closed toe shoes and of course I wear leggings under them anyway, good to go. As it turns out now that I think about it, dresses & skirts are the only other thing that I comfortably wear to work most days .. in addition to the stretchy pants.

— this is the best I can do, life is too hard to fight against nature …
Remember when I was fighting the good fight against jeggings & skinny jeans? Well, that battle has clearly been lost and I’m fully on to the dark side. Now I know what it feels like to wear them & we know that I’m 90/10 on the form over function in fashion. I don’t know what it would take for me to go back. I’m starting to think I can just go ahead & buy the cute maternity clothes on the clearance rack & wear them to work also since I clearly have no shame any more, right? If I’ve already given up, why not go a little further down this path ..

Thumbs up or down on that one?

FTR, I also still have my gaucho pants. I was saving them for when they came back & style & guess what, I think it’s happening? The printed fabrics seem to be a bigger thing but I’m feeling as though I can safely bring my brown gaucho pants back out from under the bed, what do we think? It’s time.

[They won’t fly for the prison but maybe they can get into the rotation of spring and summer work pants – which are nearly the same as my winter pants except I wore them with boots instead of flats this winter]

Well, my poor waist will figure out how to deal with my prison nights and it clearly is living wild & free most of the time, so it will be okay for a few hours once a week. Sorry if I’ve caused anyone else to evaluate their wardrobe as my volunteering has caused me to do 😉


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